Having Trouble with My “Shoulds”
It’s been a weird year.
My new job, which is the third new one in as many years, is going well, but adjusting to a new team while working fully remote has its challenges. The loss of my mom to Alzheimer’s, and the unexpected loss of identity not only as a daughter (orphaned now?) but also as a caregiver — I was Mom’s primary one for several years — has been even harder than anticipated (and I thought I was anticipating it!) The housing market is insane and unpredictable, and so the search for a new(er) home is kind of on hold.
Then there was The Change…
On top of which, my health went wonky for completely different reasons.
So, yeah. It’s been tough. But yesterday was particularly… weird.
Saturday dawned bright but cold, and the sun had me itching to get outside for even a few minutes — something I do less and less, what with the wfh life coupled with the seasonal sadness. So the partner and I started planning. Fools! Those plans were knocked down one by one. Not by anything particularly stressful on its own — but just because, who knows why. The universe apparently had other things on its mind:
We should really drop off a friend’s Christmas present; did we want to invite her along on our lunch date?
I should really be spending this…